LRAE Poetry

I can’t imagine life without you, And now I have no more choices left and so this is the reality I keep feeling like it’s a dream and I’ll wake up from this nightmare You were my soulmate and my soul dog My best friend You are my most favorite pet I’ve ever had And I promised to protect you forever Although forever only lasts so long I hope I gave you a happy life And you got to try everything you wanted to I hope that the sky watches over you And you can wait for me until I get there Until we meet again my Lodi belle - Leah Rae

The ring my mom wore that day was a horseshoe The object in which they say good luck is connected to She wore it then because it was the day my dog got really sick  Little did I know it’d be hours away from the bucket being kicked And as I laid next to her, I thought for sure She could be here tomorrow  I thought just stay here a little longer, as my heart quickly broke How sudden and how painful it is To love something so deeply, and how much they will be missed Lola, la la la la Lola I will love you forever And as my mom forgot her horseshoe ring, You said goodbye to my brother  As something took your last breath away I knew you didn’t want to leave It is forever a scar on my heart I’m so grateful we had you from the start  And that I got to know what a joy you were to everyone around you Big floppy ears, a cute face, lots of barks to greet people You will always mean everything to me though In the making of who I am  To be gentle and feel no judgement You tau...

Today I bought my  dog a new chew toy she jumped with excitement like she's never seen  anything like it before, she's had other toys to  play with, but this one was different she carried it around  with her everyday laid next to it when she took afternoon naps, placed it next to her  when  she'd eat breakfast she loved  this chew toy, at the peak of it's condition, it was soft and fluffy perfect for her she wanted to be gentle with it and made sure it  didn't break too soon there are other toys I've given to her,  but they've been put into a basket,  already worn  and loved maybe she does still like them,  but why doesn't she play with them anymore? Why do I keep buying her new toys if she's over them within a few weeks? Why do I keep standing by my  phone  if it's not going to ring? Why do I try so hard, when  I'm not  sure it's the same love we speak of? Am I just another dog toy you've already discarded ...

These beautiful things in life I’ve come to know You can dress up on a random Wednesday  And play board games with your friends you got to meet on the weekend You can meet someone that makes you so incredibly happy The pain that used to swallow me whole  It still runs with me and still lives in my bones Almost like it’s baked in slow cooked and hard to taste It’s hard to pick out any of the flavors these days I can’t decide if I’m upset or angry I just feel everything all at once But when I look at him and he speaks Everything and everyone that’s ever caused me pain Feels worth having gone through Because I am still alive for this very moment I am so lucky to be here And now all I want to do is be happy I want to see the sun go down everyday I want to act like a kid again and go outside to play I want to hum while I’m folding laundry I want to dance around while I put away dishes I want everyday to be with him, because up until meeting him I didn’t want to be here anymore And ...

  To the pictures you left us with And the memories that collide My brain plays like a reel movie With the tape repeating it’s last film  Over and over and over Until I decide to rewind it Watch it again from the beginning No matter how many times I roll it up again The movie ends To which I never know the ending How I never will know what truly happened to the beautiful woman on the screen With her pink flushed cheeks and bandaids on her knees All of the things we didn’t get to talk about, all the tattoos I didn’t get to see And here it goes again, I can’t stop replaying this scene This will always be my favorite movie -Leah Rae

 I've been searching for shelter it's been a toxic wasteland outside tried to hide tried to fight couldn't open the doors locked hidden in plain slight thank you for this life even though I wish you were here I am so grateful  to stand my ground I know one day the clouds will blow away and you'll come back around to meet me since I knew you all the parts and tracks you left behind promise me you'll show me to the light in  another life...  - Leah Rae

my only wish is  to exist in the days  that I miss if only I could see that  special day one more time daydreaming as I'm counting  twenty three sheep in the sky and even if it's going to  be a clouded foggy memory  take me back to the old  lived in room I used to adore the nail polish stains  covering my floor life is so mysterious, so unpredictable it does the unthinkable, feels unbearable and I think back to  visiting my friend's house the collections of small trinkets and  art supplies that were so shiny and neat the park we'd go to, the people we'd meet music that plays from a distance trapped in my mind's daunting resistance it is always going to be hard to understand why bad things happen to good people there's constant reminders to thread a new needle you have to have the  dark to see the light no matter what age I am,  I still don't sleep through the night it's hard to articulate my defense  when there's too much ...

 I'm reaching for the light another brutal night I'm talking to stars oblivion doesn't seem very far I'm watching the moon go up why won't my eyes shut? I'm walking on eggshells and hearing story tales one day, I will be rescued by a knight in shining armor and yet life just keeps getting harder when will I feel like I am strong enough to let the bullet holes heal away will there ever be a day  when all the pieces that've  been scattered around come back together  and I find my wings that collect all of the missing feathers how could I ever learn how to fly if I only believe that I'll just  fall down from the sky  - Leah Rae                                                                                                ...