Wise Beyond Years

If I screamed, would anyone hear me?

If you looked, would you’ve seen misery?


You might think that 

it’s a blissful thing 


To be honest with 

yourself indefinitely 


But I told myself the truth, 

and was scared to look


in the mirror because 

that is the real me 


I question everything 

about the damage 

that was caused


She feels panicked,

she feels hopeless, 

she feels lost


The challenges of 

trying to create a fire 

in the Alaskan frost


If I did give an arm and leg,

would that be the total cost?


Or is it my heart, 

my sanity, and the sacrifices 

that also come along 


I’ve assured I don’t 

have those thought 

patterns anymore,


But I can hide it well

because I can still feel it there, 

it lives in my core


Like a rabbit flurrying

to find a shelter away

from predators 


Going through life and it’s

unanticipated events, then see 

angel signs from a messenger 


Expect the unexpected 

and always trust your gut,


Don’t get too caught up 

in your expectations

because you’ll be out of luck 


I’m treading through 

the marsh and the muck 


I’m urging my legs

trying to get out, but 

I’m so incredibly stuck 


I wish I could’ve met 

myself when I was younger


So I could tell her 

the things I know now 


And maybe her mind 

that lives on today 

wouldn’t be as affected


As to when she grows old, 

and the thoughts never change, 


the story I tell 

is perplexing 


- Leah Rae


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