LRAE Poetry

Dear best friend, where are you? Are you hiding in a cloud  somewhere in the blue? What does heaven  have you up to? Is it glistening in gold like we think it may? Do you feel safe in the soft belly of it's underlay? there's so many years I  wished to have not gone through the beaches are still  creating more sand and the mountains continuously  grow and seep onto the land What do I do now with this body and it's useless feeling of living when I'm without you I feel so alone, it's scary to walk through best friend, please tell me it's just a bad dream please tell me that this isn't the end to everything please tell me this isn't goodbye please tell me that one day, I will wake up by your side - Leah Rae

don't tell me you forgot about them I know you'd be telling me lies life as we know is short enough and it's up to you to cut ties all I want is to be the first true love not to be taken advantage of I don't want to be the replacement apart of the plan you wished for with someone else I want to be loved authentically, not the one that's collecting dust on your shelf I felt copy and pasted I have no time to be wasted and at this time in my life I finally feel unbroken that these are just wounds that will eventually heal but don't trap me in a box I have enough of myself I've lost now I get to find out who I am again I'm so sick of being afraid in this body there's so much to do and so many new hobbies I made friends and felt fulfilled on my own and the best part is I finally feel like my mind is my own home - Leah Rae

 sometimes I think about the peonies and  wonder why some people would hate them they're bright, pink, and smell good, but some people are just allergic they can't value them simply because they can't breathe around them maybe I am the peony and maybe some people  are just allergic  to me,  but some people won't be and they will think I am beautiful and they would love to put me in  a vase on their kitchen table and watch me bloom  everyday - Leah Rae

I can feel myself  rejuvenating back  again I don’t want to remember  the things that happened It’s like looking  at our  own energies  and seeing  the  colors that make us the feelings were so  angry and sad,  and what hurts the most is the betrayal of my trust No one will ever feel   things the way I did Like a lone wolf in  the forest, I ran away and hid  from the enemy  who tried to break and rip me apart because I gave too much  and  have learned to protect my heart what I endured will  always stick inside like it’s glued to the  thoughts in my mind Break the cycle, and  you will find a way out of this dark forest,  no longer will you be alone,  you will find a comforting  and  loving home to stay life will treat you with kindness and give you peace  the controlling cycle is a dreadful disease Please don’t be afraid  to  leave when you feel something jus...

It’s hard to leave the  comfort of my bed What if she gets  lonely too? What if I told them  the  truth  and that my shell is hard to crack through? Keep trusting,  don’t overthink Why must it be difficult  to keep my tears at their brink? They fall down slowly, until  there’s so many they  collide and meet Days like these used  to be like sweets, Light like strawberries  and whipped cream Then I turn caramelized, when  the sugar melts at its peak  When will it stop feeling like  everyone tries to take  a bite out of me? To start believing in  myself and my capabilities  My shell was soft until  it began hardening, And it makes it tough  to be confident in myself  and to keep in touch with reality The simple things and  emotions I watch distantly,  admiring I want to go back to  that picnic blanket, Before I was so sad and before  the happiness was taken They say those...

  I let the sun shine  down on me today And felt my skin get  some warmth like I’ve been kept inside and put away Everything is temporary That’s what I hear them say I watched the moon  disappear into an ocean of stars Dreaming of what it’d be like To runaway and to travel far I let myself forget about  the past times and even sometimes reality Becoming stronger, empowered by vitality  I found a place where the waves taught me how to let go and  how to breathe I can sense the goddess  of the sun, moon, and sea And a place where the wolves stay loyal in  their own pack How to return to  them safely,  and  how to trust them  with all you have Follow the sun that’s shining on  the  waves a s they crash Then you know, you went the way with your wolves, Taking the  right path - Leah Rae

I’ve become more  thoughtful about life lately Envisioning about how I’d go escaping  Those feelings feel pale, almost like my soul turns  as stark as white gets, Becomes as cold  as the ice gets Beautiful as  the eyes get Tricksters in their  demise and yet I still feel like I’m  pretending  to be at home  within my  own bones And I’m shedding  off more wool than before Maybe the guard around  my heart seized to let it restore These questions I wasn’t there to get my proof from  I wouldn’t have to look  for these answers if only  I could’ve gotten some Trying to be optimistic  about what a wonderful  world it is to see To be grateful you’re  here  and trying to be happy - Leah Rae

If I screamed, would anyone hear me? If you looked, would you’ve seen misery? You might think that  it’s a blissful thing   To be honest with  yourself indefinitely  But I told myself the truth,  and was scared to look in the mirror because  that is the real me   I question everything  about the damage  that was caused She feels panicked, she feels hopeless,  she feels lost The challenges of  trying to create a fire  in the Alaskan frost If I did give an arm and leg, would that be the total cost? Or is it my heart,  my sanity, and the sacrifices  that also come  along   I’ve assured I  don’t  have those thought  patterns anymore, But I can hide it well because I can still feel it there,  it lives in my core Like a rabbit flurrying to find a shelter away from predators  Going through life and it’s unanticipated events, then see  angel signs from a  messenger   Expect th...

 the doctor says it's not  going to hurt so bad,  after all, any pain can be forgotten and then they try to distract you,  saying it'll be painless and that  the needle is made out of cotton for twenty years,  you fought through it convincing yourself you're still alive through all you've times you said you'd quit those friends you made couldn't  understand the feeling like you come off happy but on the  inside you're still healing you don't need anyone else to  make you feel worthy, just know that you are, even if you're hurting - Leah Rae

how could one part of  life be so beautiful  and the other half extremely  cruel and selfish I go to the look at the ocean  because  it’s the only place that I want to exist the vast unknowingness, how mysterious it is I come to grips with knowing that I’ll always be surrounded by addictions people are wearing a mask, they can trick your intuition  and break you into  what  feels like infinite pieces, but you cannot fix those who are broken it’s best to remember our memories, how amazing we are when we both stare at  the same moon and stars when I seek the beauty in all of you and always loyal to you and proud to be with you I always felt we were so much alike and I miss the days  we would shine so bright how it breaks my heart to say I love you  so much and I’m watching you put  yourself deep into harm's way how something could look so perfect can easily shatter,  life is so fragile you can to be delicate with i...

I wonder if strangers would support someone's happiness? oftentimes I feel it's  misconstrued  and thought of as jealously however, do not let one person make it look glamorized when there are soldiers hiding inside their minds there is no such thing as the  perfect person or the idealized life we all have been put through  very hard times,  it's so much of an of honor that we  have to put up the fight if it's always one thing after another,  then  we will become run down tread, Do you know who is going to be there for you  coming the long road ahead? or will they leave you suffering to adapt and quickly grow up when you were a child, all of it was proclaimed as tough love all we ever wanted to be was enough, enough, enough working hard just to exist that day and not putting on a front you seeing a genuine state of happiness,  is a beautiful blessing we’ve been gifted  never let go of the feelings in life  and  d...