LRAE Poetry

there's sweetness   in the air,  although the chemicals  can be disillusioning I thought I saw  a  shadow walk by when   I turned around the  corner this morning and on my walk,  I turned  my  face  to the sun that  warmed me although I know  there’s things  in my life that  I’ve been ignoring I wish I didn’t have  many responsibilities, I wish I didn’t have to  make enough money, but I remembered  the  waitress  who poured  me tea  and asked if I  would  like some honey I said yes and watched it melt and drizzle down, imagining the bees  pollinating  on  flowers in the yard  of a playground to walk around  in dandelions,  feeling like the  main character  in my own  little cartoon to feel that  way everyday,  what a lovely  afternoon - Leah Rae

an afternoon,  with  biscuits and tea entangled around  a table with family these hands,  my hands,   and yours too,  are nervously clammy an afternoon, where the light peaks down the hallway pretending like I’m the  only dancer in the room,  on my tiptoes  doing ballet celebrating grace on  this beloved Friday an afternoon, where I laid  nestled into a clean white sheet I was pale and  entering oblivion,  my body fell  apart weak my only thought  is that I need to  write letters to those I love,  in case I can  no longer speak an afternoon, when  I was sickly aching  waiving my white sheet, but  my hands wouldn't stop shaking reminiscing on  my favorite coping  skill,  that’s when my  mind is escaping an afternoon, spent on  the warm sand with  the ocean as  cold as ice wishing I could live in  that moment forever, with a suntan...

I want to write  the sayings  you  read inside a  valentine's card just imagine,  one day we will have  a dog, a cat,  our two kids, and  a great big yard not just about  I love you’s  or forevermore  of togetherness God knows when  we’re together, it can be a mess  in our clumsiness some days we get  hit  with bad luck,  I guess that’s  the fortune of cupid’s arrow after  its been struck in both our hearts,  the wounds cut deep, but we’re both at peace  when we lay in bed asleep you’re my cinnamon  apple, my baby spice you’re polite  to  workers and  always give me  thoughtful advice you’re my morning  and my evening, when I’m with you,  I feel like I’m dreaming in my head, I can hear Martin sing of amore I haven't said  the words yet,  but I know I feel that  way - Leah Rae

the world was colorless,  then you came along  all these  things  people  have done,  they said all the right  words that came out wrong surrounded by a garden  with  a rose bush and an orange tree smiling towards the sun  with coffee stained teeth Why won’t my brain  ever let me fall asleep? Why can’t it  keep the peace? these white walls  are closing in,  I don’t remember  how any of this happened on these walls, I  want to paint a mural and spread graffiti  throughout the allies next to the markups of  years  and years I've been keeping tallies I was stuck in here  for a few months,  but you've helped me  learn  how to open the walls up - Leah Rae

wrapped up,  held  together by lace pulled the string  tightly to cinch in the waist lips soft like lavender  and sweet like nicotine eyes that shine green,  one  look and I’ve had an epiphany spilling red wine as  I’m walking on white my back stands tall  and gives me some height Am I reading a  book of fiction or have I time travelled  to the renaissance? time keeps ticking, I'm losing  memories because of these clocks this corset is the only  thing keeping me together, if I were to take it off,  my limbs would  fall apart  and my skin would look  like worn down leather - Leah Rae

I saw a reflection  of a blue line maybe it’s the light  hitting the veins in my eye, or an angel flying  through the sky you show me signs that even in the hardest times,  everything will  turn out alright the past can be left somewhere behind good friends are  hard to find, and they're difficult  to come by same moments  over and over in life try not to get cut with  the butterfly knife - Leah Rae

take a picture, make  the moment last longer say you'll remember me  when  we were younger,  next to your bedside table  and in your secret pocket in your notebooks and photo  albums, kept inside a heart locket we’d be out in the garden  or walking around the pond in the background there were  ducks, geese, and a single swan write out the date for the future  when we wish we could go back to that time we felt famous,  before all the colored film turned to black - Leah Rae

you learn from others  about how to tell a story how to showcase words and  entice an audience  in all their glory you define words  mid sentence,  even if I already knew  what they meant you always tell  a story and at  the end, you must retrace  your steps you speak truth  from your lips and lock one into  a mindful abyss you've helped to ease  my voids and my vices, you've made me understand  things that I’ve never realized you told me your language by  tracing fingertips across the body you told me your history and  conveyed  your life as if you were storytelling you've made me believe that  there is an existing legacy you've allowed me  the patient time to  read that  I no longer have  to graze over a chapter,  I can express my poetry,  I can tell you the real me - Leah Rae

I told the man about how  I'd like to travel to Greece, how I wanted to pick  from the olive trees he told me about  how  he founded an  Italian  restaurant and  how he makes his own he said that there's groves nearby, he said that I should go  he gave me a jar  with  the date written as 1/11 it took over a year for the  olives to finally be done and I talked to him the  other day in the morning, he asked me how the  olives  were and honestly, I was scared to try them  in case of food poisoning - Leah Rae

I heard  a  wolf  whistle on  the night of  the full moon I was driving down  the highway  and  saw a coyote in  broad  daylight at noon I heard that if you  see a coyote  during   the daytime, it means  that they're feeling ill in the desert with  the tumbleweeds,  everything on the  ground stood still I want the wolves  that howl  in my head  to quiet  down they keep me up late  at night and make  me explore the terrors  of what's underground I want love, but a shadow  of affection,  I want the  ghosts that haunt  me to give me less attention these wolves,  they're  always listening I know they're  around  when I hear their whistling - Leah Rae

I don’t write as  much as I used to,  but I’m thinking  more in depth about that night and what  happened, how it all went I felt the heat  under  my feet,  but I  couldn’t  stop  the  tightness under my skin in my chest, I felt  that  you were nervous, I then realized,  you’re  a  different  kind of essence,  one with two sides,  fearing of love and hate two of the most  powerful emotions,  let the bottle  finally break when you’re a writer,  you remember everything every detail, every visual,  the way that silence rings we were in the mountains and  the sky turned into lavender your side profile looks so beautiful  while you’re sitting in the passenger you tried to trip me over  the rocks on the seashore, we went back to my car afterwards  and played a game of thumb war I told you about how I'd l ike to be remembered,  you didn’t say muc...

my clementine,  my saturn peach your soul is sweeter  than  any  other fruit  despite the tanginess  with  the sourness of a tangerine my saturn peach,  tell me  every goodnight,  watch over me protector,  guide me to a bright light my tangerine,  my heart’s desire,  sparking up friction  by my bones, start a fire my clementine,  my sunshine,  I love you more each and  everyday as time goes by my saturn peach,  my favorite fruit,  I hope you feel  better soon,  I hope you feel  the same way as I do - Leah Rae

it’s the  feeling again it’s the heart racing in my chest again it’s the beating in my head again it’s the thoughts fighting battles again it’s the loss again it’s the love again it’s the guilt running thin it’s my mind’s self destructiveness it’s the self-criticism  its the one that got away again it’s the last thing I think about before I go to sleep again it’s the breathing in and breathing out again it’s the one thing I need again it’s the panic coming back to destroy me again it’s the euphoria again it’s the butterflies in my stomach again it’s the joy in my life again it’s the hope I have for the future again it’s the optimism it's everything I've ever wanted, it is what it is... - Leah Rae

there’s snow in  the mountains after the fires  from last year it appeared monochromatic with  the streets lined with sleet,  a powdery white blanket  that laid down sheer under the snow  remained the gravel a heap of rocks, specimens,  and other tiny pebbles I remember that drive and  how it felt to look above a cliff to fear what’s below, if we’d  turn the wheel too quick  my palms were  warmed from a mug I was surrounded by a sweater that held me tightly and snug Lola’s paws and the  prints in the snow I hope we make  it down the  ride,  I want to see the  sun’s final glow - Leah Rae