LRAE Poetry

as my inner child  looks up to me, I can only warn her  of  all the things yet to be, she holds me like  her favorite bear I make a promise to her  that I will always be there making sure that she  laughs at funny moments, that she believes in herself, and deep down knows it I tell her, it’s  not  going  to be easy, but you  will be okay even if it doesn’t  go  as expected,  you can try again  everyday my inner child speaks quietly, in my heart,  she's living  there and guiding me she said “I wish  we could've  taken  it all in more, instead of locking  myself behind all  those closed doors. I am so curious  to explore,  but have become  fragile to the core.” now, you  stay at home and off grid, you were once an  independent  kid my precious inner child,  Where have you  planted yourself? over here thawing your  brain like a wax melt ...

nothing to do  with the  act everything to do  with the  moment if I were you, I would’ve   known that there’s  nothing  I'd do  that  would  hurt  you and by  doing  that to me when  you  swore  on   how  different it  will be I've had to  heal  and let  some issues go because you're  all  I have,  you  are my home I've stayed  and  kept to our vision talk it out, calm down, and listen the big  city  picture  ahead   holding  onto  me  while  we lay in bed if you witness   your  greatest fear you'll still be in  shock in every  thought, and every  year you become  indisposition of what life  has geared  holding  onto  your patience while it's  causing  your heart to erupt say what you  need to say then, hang up if you were trea...

for change,  we will  take risks pondering  what the  outcome is  listening and  r emembering trauma creates  s hort term  memory it's like a fever dream quiet, until  someone  looks into  my eyes,   then, they’ll  see the  soul of me thinking about walking away  from things  that have  no  purpose  they're serving Who can you  talk to when  t hey aren’t around? to these  strangers  in the crowd,  reaching out,  asking for help if I get closer,  I can hear the  heart weeping and I see it  deep  down,  you too are hurting - Leah Rae

If my presence  was  built by  a past life, how many  more  tries  until I get  this one right? can’t see  the  future  ahead,  still  stuck  thinking  about the past keeping me  awake  late at night in bed Do the thoughts  appear darker  or lighter? If I trusted my  own  two  eyes  enough, I caught you  being  a liar. tears drip  past my  throat, lungs hurt from all that  grey smoke, baby girl,  you’re perfect,  and you’re enough to be truly loved  while still being  strong and tough always improving  and having the  benefit of the doubt even when  nothing is  adding up, your smile can heal  anyone it took a lot of  courage to get  where you are and faith will guide  you  into the stars - Leah Rae

her mind traveled to  far away places,  wise and  unknown   her creativity  sparkled in her beautiful  mind and soul she was  accepting  of everyone and who they  wanted to be supportive all the  time and always  there for me I’ll talk to you  in my  dreams,  and wish for them  to come  true all of the beauty I’ve  seen in my life, I have only  noticed  because I met you throughout all the rough patches,  you always healed  back stronger hoping you'd  be here for  much  longer I have your  plush bunny bag staring at the  lipgloss you’d  left in the pocket I wish I could keep your soul  inside a heart locket now you’re dancing  in heaven’s room young and  beautiful,  gone too soon  - Leah Rae

now everything I see  is a sign  from you,  like the way the lights flicker in my room, W as the shadow  passing by yours too? the way the sunlight beams   t hrough my window  so brightly, and the sun sets under  a blazing pink sky,  falling into place  perfectly I drove home one  early morning,  noticed a rainbow from  a distance, and traveled  to where it was going I followed it down the road  and saw everything,  just where  you’d  lifted off you showed me how  you connected  the ground  to the clouds colorfully from the end of the  rainbow to the  clouds in the sky, you’re hidden,  tucked  away in your  angel’s flight now you’re somewhere  in the air and I long for you  to come back down, someday, we will  meet again,  but for now  I sit alone  and speak to you  aloud - Leah Rae

this fire burns on the  inside, this one didn't  make the  ride that night  I'd sent  her  a  text, my heart was  ripped  out  of my chest  no response, I heard the  next morning this is the fire  that's  suffocating,  tomorrow  is  never  guaranteed I will never forget  who you are  to me  feelings of every kind,  blessed and  coy stepping with peace,  company to always  enjoy thoughts racing  on  my  mind not another  friendship  like  you and I you're rare, the  only  one of  our kind  smoke fumes  stuck inside  my lungs wrapped my arms  to feel like  our hugs trying not to let  the memory  fade how we were together,  how I wish  you  stayed - Leah Rae